Your Mother In Law is your path to Nirvana

To define nirvana is neither the intention nor the capability of this piece of prose. To each to his / her own is what works in most of the issues of moral and theoretical discussions. Unless of course one is a Deepak Chopra or has a few “Sri” associated to ones name. In a simple complicated life of a normal person who is controlled by his/ her job, commuting home, the EMI of that home, maid, kids school fee, multiplexes and malls; nirvana can be that total silence that one gets only for a few second while a cup of tea warms the throat or any other choice of drink or moment. Another aspect of nirvana is where through all these worries or matters of human existence one can smile the benign smile as benign as those of the Buddha idols which endorse a five star hotel lobby to the suite of rich and happening (and featured on the idiot box). It is this smile, this too shall pass smile, this smile that says Oh! This does not bother me, this smile which understands “Only change is permanent”, that is ultimate manifestation of Nirvana which all can see and if there is no one around one can still know that one had it, even if for a few seconds.

The kid or the baby one has produced or helped to produce can never help one to attain this smile. And one is partly responsible for that. They nag, throw tantrums, demand your attention at wrong time, fight food and anything healthy, get into fights, monkey around, well blame yourself. One can trace almost all that is bad in ones progeny to oneself in some or the other form or phase of our lives. So even in the most stoned stupor one cannot smile through any of these annoying and patience testing techniques available to one’s creation. Lets not even think about one’s creations, if you can’t attain it from one a multiple of those will not help either.

However the other way round is true; but one does not think of nirvana in the time frame in which our creators to whom one is non-nirvana enabling progeny are available for attaining nirvana. Though some progenies in the latter year of teens do reach the enlightenment and smile the most benign smile that they can muster or achieve at the tender age while the mother or father is creating a cacophony which neither they understand nor the listener can or care to fathom. But such are few and far between because most of us in teens feel wronged by all and sundry for the tiniest of response in negation.

Humans do not (mostly) choose friends who are inclined to be instruments to nirvana. There exceptions to all rules but as stated earlier in the simple complicated life of a normal human being such occurrence of such exceptions is exceptionally low.

That leaves the spouse or partner. Now being a spouse / partner itself should take us to nirvana, if kamasutra’s real premise were to be understood. Sex in its complete purity and the ultimate climax should and is nirvana. Now if we were to take a count of such attainments, either we will draw a blank look, wolf whistles, nervous titter, disdain or straight answer depending on the demography of the people one posts the question to. Still nirvana would be few and far between.
But again in the much latter years of life with few decades of marriage to boast of some are able to attain the benign smile while the spouse is ranting and nagging. But such is the human nature that women tend to fail in this kind of nirvana. Though they definitely become the instruments to nirvana for their male counterparts.

But there is one being that comes as a package deal. One’s progress in life from a progeny to a creator is incomplete and not possible without this being. Not all are blessed to be bestowed with this being. The mother-in-law is the progression for a woman, which is important, Ekta Kapoor or no Ekta Kapoor. It defines her in her own eyes and that of the world in a light that only a woman can understand and appreciates. If the institution of marriage has survived centuries the mother-in-law has an equally important role to play in this institution. The status of mother-in-law enables the capability of finding an opportunity for “constructive feedback” at all occasions, and the syndrome finds its way so stealthily that most of mother-in-laws are unaware of its presence. And that’s the first step to nirvana itself. If one can smile just to begin with twitch of the facial muscle at such constructive feedback one can assume that one has made that small step towards the giant leap. And mind you, this is for both genders. Mother-In-Law syndrome is applied towards daughter-in-law as well as son-in-law. It is just an irony that when applied to the same gender as that of the Mother-In-Law it gets more attention, airtime and print space. The next level of nirvana becomes easier if one attains the smile at the constructive feedback. Mother-In-Law gives ample opportunities; if one is lucky the opportunities are thrown at every day or hour given one’s proximity to her. Sample some: “my son”, “our family-your family”, “Oh this is so nice BUT”, instructions while she steps out of the town or is visiting. The frequency and verbosity of these and more phrases can help one to practice the benign smile. And once one can flash the benign smile with complete internal peace at these phrases, every time without loosing beat, pat your back, Budhha used a tree, your Nirvana was here right here right now with all the simple complicated life of yours very much around you!